Scene at Sauna

66 kilo Asian guy enters (me!). There is a 100 kilo Caucasian lying peacefully, soaking in the heat. Has good physique for his age (about 60-65 I guess). 66 kilo Asian sits down, adjusts to the temperature, and realizes its too hot. Anyways, few minutes later, another guy enters. He is about 140 kilos, with a humongous belly, and 66 kilo Asian is not sure of his race at this point.

140 Kilo guy looks at 66 kilo Asian and says: "As-Salaam Alaykum"
66 kilo Asian: "wa `Alaykum As-Salām"
140 Kilo guy: "Arabic?"
66 kilo Asian: "No!"
140 Kilo guy: "Pakistani?"
66 kilo Asian: "No!"
140 Kilo guy is rather clueless at this point.
66 kilo Asian to the rescue: "I am from India." (Feeling mera bharat mahan at this time)
140 Kilo guy: "Aaahhh! I see many Indian movies."
66 kilo Indian: "In Cyprus? Is there some where place they play Indian movies?"
140 Kilo guy: "No, I see on CD nowadays"
66 kilo Indian: "Where are you from?" (Got a hint from "nowadays")
140 Kilo guy: "Lebanon."

100 kilo Caucasian is fidgeting meanwhile, sits up finally.
140 Kilo Lebanese to 100 kilo Caucasian: "How are you?"
100 kilo Caucasian: "I am tired. Came here straight from work" (Obviously a Britisher from the accent)
140 Kilo Lebanese: "You still work? Where?"
100 kilo Brit: "I teach English to Russian students."
140 Kilo Lebanese: "So work is tiring?"
100 kilo Brit: "Not so much now. It was much more tiring when I used to teach the whole class. I did that for 35 years. Now I just take individual lessons."
140 Kilo Lebanese: "Very important to learn English. My father made me, my brother learn English, my sister learn French"
66 kilo Indian is wondering meanwhile if Lebanon was a French Colony!
100 kilo Brit: "French is out!!! Everyone wants to learn English. There are 3 -4 good schools in Limassol (took names I don't remember) and they all have English as their medium of instruction. Even French is taught in English!"
140 Kilo Lebanese: "In school, my teacher tell me write A, B, C. I write (showing pictorially) A, B and ")" (mirror image). I never good student."
66 kilo Indian: "Are there many Russian students here?"
100 kilo Brit: "Yes, quite a few. They have a lot of difficulty initially. I take lessons from 2 o clock. A lesson lasts about an hour."
140 Kilo Lebanese: "My brother go to London. Come back after 10 years and speak English like a Britisher"
100 kilo Brit: "Ah! The London accent! I am from the middle, and speak the Oxford way of English. The Southern, Northern or London Britishers have a different accent"

66 kilo Indian is thinking "They all sound like British accent" and suddenly remembers Mickey O'Neill from Snatch, played by Brad Pitt. Now that definitely wasn't English. And 66 kilo Indian's nose is burning because of the heat. Feels like it'll start bleeding.

140 Kilo Lebanese: "Yes, London English, like Margret Thatcher and Mr. Bean."
100 kilo Brit and 66 kilo Indian start laughing.
100 kilo Brit: "You know, Mr. Bean is a Cypriot by the way!"
Both 140 Kilo Lebanese and 66 kilo Indian express surprise.
100 kilo Brit: "Bloody hell! There are more Cypriots in UK, than in Cyprus! And they want us to get out of Cyprus. What if we send all Cypriots back?"

100 kilo Brit is making reference to 2 British Air Force bases in Cyprus, which completely fall under British Authority. 66 kilo Indian feels that it's good for Cyprus that the Brit bases exist, as they prevent the Turks from completely taking over the island. He anyway makes a mental note to check on google about Mr. Bean and the Cypriot population in Britain. (Both claims are not true btw)

99 kilo Brit gets up and heads towards door. The heat is now unbearable. 65 kilo Indian takes cue and also leaves.